Archive for September, 2009

Point Break

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

That is some 90s-ass hair.When watching a movie like Point Break, it’s often the case that you may try to compare it to movies that are of the same genre but also “make sense.” This is a fool’s errand, and will only lead to madness. Instead, it is best to do what the screenwriter, actors, stunt coordinators, editor, and myriad other cast and crew obviously did: imbibe a great quantity of illicit narcotics and watch the pretty colors as they fly by. (more…)

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

"I like to build the ships in the bottles while the bottle is still full. It's more sporting that way."While there’s some rum, and a little bit of the lash, 2003’s Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World has more of syllables than of sodomy. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but when you’re dealing with an historical drama where life in the Napoleonic War-era British Navy is integral to the storyline, the least you can do is to not make a liar out of Sir Winston Churchill. After all, it isn’t unusual for movies like this to feature scenes where the poopdeck is just lousy with seamen.

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Shooter

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Say hi to your mother for me.Movies that are targeted to a specific audience are always a bit of a crap shoot, especially if you’re outside their range, or if they just miss and don’t have enough splash damage to affect your critic shields.

Um. Sorry, I’ve been playing a lot of videogames. (more…)

WarGames

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

You know it's make-believe because his girlfriend is excited about his videogamesThere’s something about movies from the 1980s that I find reassuring. At some point in the last 25 years people stopped wanting, or studios stopped providing, movies featuring kids that look, sound, and act like real people. I suppose this can be traced back to the heyday of Macaulay Culkin, when it was no longer enough for kids to be smart, funny, or endearing in the way that kids can be in real life, but instead needed to outsmart the villains, mug for the camera, and provide a running dialog of snark along the way. By the same token, it is no longer enough for Winnie Cooper to be the Platonic ideal of a grade school/high school beauty, now we have a 21-year-old Megan Fox playing a high school student. WarGames, set contemporary to its 1983 production year, predates this trend, and provides a realism that seems both odd and relieving  in contrast, like having a bowl of soup after a week of gorging on Halloween candy. (more…)